Parenting Advice: Hindsight Part 2

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Oh, if I only knew then what I know now, I would do many things differently.

1. I would be less intense and emphatic with my children, thereby modeling flexibility, sensitivity, and compassion.

2. I would allow myself to get less stressed about the little stuff, thereby imparting a sense of peace to my children in the midst of this crazy world.

3. I would hug my older children more, assuring them that, even as teenagers who don’t want to be touched, I love them and want to be near them because they are awesome!

4. I would listen more, thereby teaching my children that their voices are very important in this world.

5. I would make sure that I got time alone much more often so that I could recharge and be refreshed for when I am with my children.

6. I would have taken control of my life much sooner, modeling self-determination and personal power in a positive atmosphere.

7. I would have worked part-time sooner (before I got sick) so that I could help my children with buying their first cars, taking trips, and exploring the world more, and so that they know that working moms are loving moms (although stay-at-home moms ARE working moms).

8. I would have given them more freedom earlier. I discovered that controlling social interactions isn’t as healthy as I thought.

Older moms, especially moms of adult children, all have regrets. We have tons of guilt. I can only hope that some of my observations after the fact can help younger moms make healthy decisions for their children and for themselves — yes, you are VERY important.

Did I mention that when we are open and honest with our children about our failures, we release them from resentment that might have been hiding deep within, setting them free? What a gift!

Learning to be very real with my children in my old age (53).

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6 responses »

  1. Okay Michele…I thought we werent old. You did disagree when I talk about us geezin. You said you were not old. Make up yer mind girl…bahaha. to tell you the truth, I wouldnt want to go back in time…I just wish it would slow up a tad. Plus I wish I had the cha-ching to fix this old face…sighhh btw I agreed and liked your post today. Thanks hon

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  2. this is an excellent list Michele. I think I’m working on most of those things, especially the being real part. I strive for open honest communication, which is really hard when you were raised in an authoritative household.

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